A knight in shining armour? Stuff that, do you know how much polishing that takes!

I'm straddling the gap between feeling okay and complete depression... Don't push me...

I am trying to stay happyish, hopeful, ish, and everything though. It's just hard!

BTW, I created the site I was talking about. Three days work... Woot... Woot...
.: My site:.
The whole site in total is only like 50Kb, should be almost instant, even for us poor modem users

It really sucks, I couldn't go to Spiderman-2 today. It just came out... I'm on holidays... I haven't gone anywhere yet... I've literally stayed at home the whole time... I tried arranging it with my parents... And... For all that hard work... Nothing... At all... Except that really annoying feeling like you've just swallowed liquid lead, and the whole inside of your stomach and heart are trying to meet the floor...

You shouldn't feel like this on holidays... It's just not right, nor logical. Should be happy, brimming with happiness... Yeah, right, theories suck... Dang nabbit. My dad wants me to go into his work, fix some computers there, and link one from home to the office, yet he doesn't know I haven't been out once since holidays... Once... I feel like a prisoner in my own home!

I guess what I'm saying is I don't want it to be this way.
I just don't know how to change it.

If that makes any sense...

Eh
On a positive note, a friend of mine in CG invited me to work on one of his projects, a project to recreate the cinematics of a game called "Crusader - No Regret". He talked me into it, and hyped me up about it =P Prospects for it are very good. There is still a huge fan base, and I implanted the idea that he could make an opensource recreation of the game, like Freedroids at Sourceforge, except this would be even better as a result of the huge fan base still obsessed with the game. This is also another sad story about what Microsoft can kill, the company who produced the game, Digital Anvil, a spin off of Origin, was bought out by MS, and nothing has been heard since. Ouchie, poor Natronio.

2D
I'm falling in love with two dimensions all over again. It all started with a DSG where I did a quick sketch of a Goblin King and digital painted over the sketch, and the flames were eventually fanned by an ex-Blender artist called Landis Fields, who has just updated his site to include Flash animation tests.
I want to try some stuff soon, really really want to try.

TV
A TV show I really enjoyed has it's series finale today. It was called Grounded for Life, and featured all of the kind of fun you want from a TV show. A crazy and cool uncle who hasn't married and seemingly never will, a father who doesn't want to stop you drinking beer but join in and chug a cold one himself, a mother who is just lovable, and a daughter who is a predictable teen. You of course, also have the grandfather, who's living with them instead of the home... Anyway, it ended, with a mixed flash back to the day the two parents got married, lots of fun. I'll miss it though.

She who must be obeyed...
That's how my dad refers to my mum. She set the beeper to 45 minutes. Like it matters. If I don't get up early tomorrow morning, it doesn't care, I'm not going anywhere anyway. Apart from possibly my dads work. But we all know how much I want to go there... Well, it's not that I don't necessarily want to, it's just like I'm going straight from school to work, instead of school, fun, work, fun fun fun... Just typing the word makes me sick. It's like eating a sausage infront of a starving man. Worse than that, it's like cooking them and then eating them infront of him.
Eh, stuff she who must be obeyed, I'm staying up. *goes to reset timer*

Steve C
'The energy stored in coal, crude oil and natural gas all comes from the sun. Im supposed to "Explain this statement."'
Well, I helped him out, and, for the record, 'I can't express how much you have saved my ass', it was an assignment due tomorrow for him =P (he's at a public school, we get holidays a week earlier and longer than they do)
Always happy to help an oppressed school student!

Planning for post-HSC
Hmm... I have a few [insert word meaning imposing and clashing] plans for the future.
For example, I want to do the three following -

1. I want to go straight into an internship at Rising Sun Pictures, and get a job there
2. I want to go and get educated in 2D and 3D graphics, at preferably a place like VFS or somewhere which offers Pixar certified training, or even better, is taught by Pixar employees.
3. I want to go and learn the theory and coding behind such a thing, at universities like Berkeley and Harvard.

Hmm... Let's consider all three... Fat chance...
I literally feel really sick at the moment... It's just not working out, and it's not like in those cruddy movies where everything is falling apart for the nerd (who under the surface is actually a 'cool guy'), and then some guy, or girl, or chic, or girlfriend walks up to him and says 'It's alright, life's a million paths, you couldn't predict the ones you were going to take, blah blah BLAH...' Well, ya know?

I just wish it wouldn't always feel like a fight to try and firmly plant my feet anywhere outside of school...

Endeth
And on that note, tune in tomorrow to discover how Smerity valiantly escapes the clutches of depression,